Something To Live For
by Lulu.cat13
Summary: Fiona stayed behind to take care of Rick while Lori and Shane retreated to Atlanta. How can she handle these feelings she has for this married man? One night at the CDC clarifies the entire situation. Rick/OC one shot


**I've been thinking lately that every time I'm in the mood to read a Rick/OC, there are only a few. So, to rememdy the situation, I wrote one. I've never written anything like this, really. It's a bt of a lemon. Nothing graphic, more romantic. I hope you enjoy it.**

**Have fun! **

**Lulu~**

* * *

I sat in the broken and silent hospital room and watched him. I've been here for weeks, even before this all happened. There was a small pile of supplies in the corner of the room that I'd collected, other than that I never left the room. The images in the hallway were too painful to see. I ran my hand through my wavy, tangled, long dark brown hair.

"You know what? We're the only two people that are alive in this hospital." I laughed bitterly as I looked over at him lying still in the bed. My mind briefly considered leaving like the rest, but I shook it off. How could I? He trained me. Sure, I've had a crush on him for a bit, but that didn't change the fact that I was told not to leave a man behind. Plus, I made a promise to his wife.

* * *

"Ma'am, we're having the critical patients air e-vac'd to Atlanta. Only one can go with him if you want to stay behind." A panicking nurse rushed away from Lori as she explained the situation.

"I can't! I have a son!" Lori called after her and was rewarded by the nurse power walking away from her. "Damn it!"

I rushed over to her with Shane hot on my heels. "Lori, you take Carl and go to Atlanta with Shane. I'll stay and go with Rick." I don't know if was my uniform or the constant frantic motion, but Lori didn't argue with me. With a quick nod of her head, she was off with Shane, Carl right beside her.

I got to Rick's room, that's when everything when to hell. The Army was shooting people, doctors, nurses, and the sick, in the hallways. Blood was sprayed all over the walls and the smell penetrated every room. I ducked under his bed when a man in camouflage and a gas mask busted the door open. I didn't hear anything for a few seconds and then there was the sound of boots squeaking against the tile floor as he ran away. I got up and ran to the door, closing it quickly.

* * *

"Don't worry, Rick. I'm sure it'll be over soon."

I sat and waited for help. About two days into it, I realized that I was being stupidly hopeful and just waited for Rick to wake up from his coma. Maybe today was the day. I looked down at my grey t-shirt and dirty uniform pants. I had blood stains all over my deputy shirt so I soaked it in the sink in the bathroom and hung it over the end of the bed to dry a few weeks ago and just hadn't put it on yet. Decidedly, that was the last time I looked at myself in the mirror. Hopefully I wouldn't scare Rick back into a coma when he woke up. Suddenly I heard a dry cough come from Rick.

"Yea, where'd you get that vase? You steal it from your Grandmother's house? Hope you left her that spoon collection." Rick laughed. I didn't know what he was talking about; I assumed he was referring to the flowers that Jenna from dispatch sent over to him. I saw him reach over to them and crumpled some of the flowers.

"Rick?" I whispered unbelievingly. His head snapped over to me and he smiled. That damn smile.

"Fiona?"

I helped him over to the bathroom and drink some water from the sink. He was incredibly weak from being in bed so long. Two and a half months maybe?

"When can I go home and see Carl and Lori?" he asked wiping the water from his dry lips. My heart sank when he mentioned Lori. His eyes shifted around the room, looking at the little pile of foods and medicine in the corner. He walked over to his bed and pushed the call button repeatedly. "Nurse?"

I walked over to him and pushed his shoulder down making him sit on the bed. "Rick, there's something I have to tell you." I pulled his hand over to my lap and started to remove his IV line gently. I explained to him about the outbreak and how I was had been here for months, waiting for him to wake up and how Lori, Shane, and Carl were in Atlanta getting help from FEMA or some other government run fairy tale. He shot up from the bed and staggered to the door.

"Come on, Fiona. We have to go find them." I followed behind him and helped him as he struggled down the hall. Even though the top of my head reached his nose, I still had trouble steadying him. The elevators were out of order, so we made our way slowly down the stairs. Every time our bodies brushed together I felt like I was going to explode from the heat that it generated within me. By the time we'd reached the street in from of the hospital, Rick had asked me twice if I was feeling ok and had felt my forehead once for fever because my face was so flushed. We walked for a while until he had to stop and rest. I helped him sit on a stump that was sticking up with broken wire running through it. It was once a boundary for a park or something. Grasping and grunting came from behind him and he turned to see half a woman crawling toward him. That was the moment that he decided that he could walk on his own. Rick jumped to his feet and hurried me and him away from the scene.

"What was that, Fiona? One of those things you were telling me about?" His eyes were still wide with surprise. All I could do was nod as we walked through the empty neighborhood.

"Rick I know you want to find Carl and Lori, but we have to find somewhere to stay until you're strong enough. We'll never make it to Atlanta with you stumbling around like a drunk." My hazel eyes scanned his body as he sat down on a stoop in front of an abandoned house. "We also need to get you some clothes."

Before I knew it there was a gun cocked and pointed at Rick's head and I had drawn my gun. My hands were steady as I aimed at the man behind my friend. The only down side to my heroism is that my gun was completely out of rounds, but he didn't know that.

"Drop your weapon." I commanded. The man looked at me then cut his eyes back to Rick.

"Show me your wound." Rick raised his hands and then pulled his blue hospital gown back to reveal his bandaged side.

"Gunshot wound."

The man was still in his attack position and his eyes still hard. "Anything else? Bitten or scratched?"

Rick rolled his head back to look at the man. "Gunshot not enough?"

The inside of the house was dimly lit. The windows boarded up as well as the door when we had gotten in. The night had fallen on us and the 'walkers' as Morgan, the African American gunman, had called them, were about. His son was seated at the table, watching beans cook on a make shift stove eye. Morgan and Duane, his son, had been living in the house for a while. Mattresses were on the floor, food was piled up in the kitchen on the counters.

"Fiona, Rick, dinner's ready. Get in here and eat." Morgan dipped some beans in two bowls and placed them on one side of the table. Duane reached over the table and held out his hand and Morgan did the same. Rick shot a glance at me before taking Morgan's hand and reaching into my lap for mine. I grabbed Rick's hand then reached for Duane's. Morgan started to pray, but all I could think about was Rick's hand in mine. My faced felt like it was on fire. A thirty second prayer felt like an hour long one.

"Amen." Morgan finished and everyone resumed eating. Best prayer ever.

The next day, all of us ventured to Rick's house for the keys to the locker room under the Sheriff's office. I looked around at the life that he used to live. I walked into his and Lori's room and felt very out of place in somewhere so intimate. The bed looked messy and clothes were missing from the drawers, just like in Carl's room.

"Fee." I heard Rick call me from the hallway. Turning, I ran to my party and we were underway.

Luckily the pilot light was still on at the Sheriff's office. While the boys were getting dressed, I took my sweet time in the warm water. I hadn't taken a shower since the dead started walking. The warm rain poured over my body, making me feel comforted. I bit my lip and grinned as I silently wished Rick was here.

"Fiona, no." I whispered scolding myself for thinking such things about a married man. I wrapped a towel around my body and sauntered over to the clothes Morgan had given me to wear. The shirt was a little big for me, but the jeans fit just fine. While I was lacing up my boots, Rick walked into the bathroom, knocking on the tiled wall like it was a door.

"Knock, knock." He smiled. "Hey, Fee. I'm about to crack open the gun locker."

"Ok, I'll be right there." I smiled back at him and did the best job I could drying my hair with a towel. Once I was satisfied with my appearance, I made my way over to the gun locker, where Rick, Duane, and Morgan were looking around at the contents.

"So, Fiona, you actually a cop?" Morgan asked, slightly amused. I didn't mind when people ask me questions like that. It makes me feel a little more badass when people were surprised.

"Yup." Rick stepped into the conversation. I smirked over at him as he riffled through the rifles. "Trained her myself. Best damn cop ever." Rick nudged me in the side playfully and I bumped him with my hip. Morgan glanced over at us warily then moved his eyes back to his gun.

"Hey, Daddy. You think I can learn how to shoot? I'm old enough!" Duane urged his father. I chuckled and smiled over at Duane.

"I don't think age really matters anymore." Morgan nodded and loaded some guns in a duffle bag for himself.

"First you're gonna learn to respect the gun." Rick nodded in agreement and looked over at the boy.

"Your daddy's right. Gun's aren't toys."

Duane's face was completely serious when he said, "Yes, sir."

When we left the locker room, Rick and I loaded our stuff into one of the Sheriff's cars while Morgan and his son took a jeep. Rick handed Morgan a radio before we left, telling him that he would be on the same frequency every day at dawn. I hugged the pair before getting in the car and cranking it. Rick hopped in the driver's seat and sped off, running over the body of a fellow deputy. I didn't really feel bad for him… he was an idiot anyway.

"Why'd you stay, Fee?" Rick broke the silence of our ride with a single question that had so many answers. What was I supposed to tell him? Oh, I'm in love with you. Oh, your wife didn't want to stay with you. No.

"I… I couldn't leave you like that, Rick." My hands became so interesting that I stared down at them, unwilling to look up. Suddenly another hand crept into my field of vision, clasping one of my hands.

"Thank you, Fiona." My eyes ventured up to see his face turned to mine, smiling. That damn smile.

After a while, our vehicle started to slow down involuntarily.

"Outta gas." Rick stated as he opened his door and popped the trunk. I stepped out and stretched, coaxing blood back into my extremities. "Looks like we're hoofin' it." He pulled a gas can out of the back of the car and walked toward me. "There's a gas station over there."

We approached the car graveyard slowly and cautiously. I looked around at place before pointing to the sign. 'No gas.' Rick nodded and grabbed my arm pulling me to the ground behind a car. My questioning look made its way to him as he nodded his head turning my attention to something in front of us. A small pair of slippered feet scooted in front of the vehicle we were hidden behind. The child bent down and picked up a teddy bear that was lying on the ground. I shot up and ran to the front of the car, Rick following right behind, to see the back of the little girl's long, blonde hair.

"Little girl." I called to her. "We're police officers, come with us and we'll help you, ok?" I waited for her to turn quickly and run to us, but she just stood there. "Little girl?" She turned slowly revealing blood dripping from her half decayed face onto her soft pink nightgown. I gasped and threw my hand to my mouth. The girl started toward me and I just stood in shock. My hand was on my gun, but I couldn't make myself draw it.

"Fiona!" Rick called out as he pulled his weapon and shot the little infected being in the head. I dropped to my knees as soon as the girl hit the ground. Tears clouded my vision as I covered my face with my hands. I felt strong arms surround me and pull me toward a solid chest.

"I couldn't. I just couldn't." I sobbed into his shirt. A hand made its way to my hair and stroked it lovingly.

"It's ok, Fee. You're ok." He bent his head and kissed the top of mine. "You're ok."

When I was able to collect myself, we travelled on. My stomach churned at the thought of Rick being reunited with Lori. As selfish as it sounded, I really liked having time alone with him. I ran my hand through my hair and sighed. I was going to Hell.

"You ok?" His rough voice pulled me out of my self-hatred. I lifted my head to look at him, but was distracted by something.

"Farm house." I nodded my head toward the direction of it. Thank God for rural Georgia. We walked up to the porch and knocked on the door.

"Anyone here? We just need to borrow some gas." Rick yelled outside the house hoping that someone would answer. He peered into a window and looked around. "Fee, don't come over here." I jumped off of the porch and walked around the front yard. There was a truck in front of the house, but no keys. Damn. I got out of the truck and followed Rick around to the back of the little farm house. I heard him chuckle and looked over to him questioningly. "We got a horse." His smile radiated over to me. Great. A horse.

"Come on, Fiona." Rick grabbed my hand and pulled me up in front of him on the horse so he could hold the bag of guns on his back. As I leaned my back against his chest my breath hitched and my whole body felt hot. I shook the feelings away from my head, took the reins and clicked at the horse, trying to get it to me. Failing at trotting, the horse broke straight into a run. God must have been playing a sick joke on me. Rick's grip on my waist tightened as the horse went faster. His hips fit perfectly against mine. This was going to be a long ride…

"Woah." I pulled back on the reins to slow the horse as we approached the city. "Well, on the bright side, there's no traffic." My joke failed to even amuse myself as we rode down the empty highway that led into Atlanta. The soft clip clop of the horse's hooves was the only sound I could hear, until the loud drum of helicopter blades. "Rick, do you hear that?" I looked back at him but he was already looking around for the origin of the sound. As soon as I saw the chopper, I reared the horse back and broke into a gallop. My eyes were glued to the chopper until the horse whinnied in fear. My stomach dropped as I looked down at what the horse was so afraid of. A wall of walkers were right in front of us. "Shit!" I cried out as I led the horse to the right and broke him into a gallop again only to be greeted by more walkers. The undead tipped the horse over and immediately started to devour. Rick's arm around my waist yanked me over to a nearby tank, pulling me under it with him.

* * *

I lifted my head from the pull out couch bed. We'd made it to the Center for Disease Control, or CDC. My head couldn't let go of the last day I had Rick all to myself before he was whisked away by Lori. A deep sigh escaped my lips as the past few days washed over my memory. When we made it to the tank, Glenn came over the radio and helped us get down the street without getting eaten alive. I folded my pillow over my head and grunted remembering Merle. _Merle._

* * *

We ran up to the roof of the department store that was sheltering the group of scavengers. They weren't too happy about Rick and me firing in the city attracting more walkers. The infected surrounded the store, banging on the glass door with rocks and growling at us with starving expressions. When we reached the roof, a man was standing on the ledge shooting walkers for fun.

"Merle! What the hell man?" T-Dog yelled angrily. "You're wastin' all our bullets!"

"You oughta be more polite to a man with a gun. It's only common since." Merle turned around and waved his gun at everyone. "You wanna know somethin' else, mister yo dawg? It'll be the day before I take orders from someone like you." T-Dog's face twisted into an angry scowl.

"That'll be the day? What do you mean someone like me?"

Merle moved his face close to T-Dog's and smiled, "That'll be the day before I take orders from a nigger." T-Dog growled and reared his hand back to punch the redneck only to be struck first. Rick lunged forward to break up the one sided fight, but was knocked over a large pipe by Merle punching him in the face. That was it for me.

"Drop your weapon!" I yelled pulling my gun from the back of my pants and pointing it at his head. I got closer to him and pressed the barrel of my gun to his head. "Give me a reason to blow your head off. Please." I could feel the man's smirk as he dropped his rifle and turned to face me.

"Oh, I'll give ya a reason, sugar tits." I smiled as I saw Rick pick up the gun and stand behind Merle.

Rick's grip tightened on the gun. "That's _Officer _Sugar Tits to you." With that, he crashed the butt of the rifle into Merle's face and cuffed Merle to the pipe that he became so acquainted with earlier. "You should be more polite to someone with a gun." Rick sneered. "It's only common sense."

* * *

"And we left him there." I mused out loud in my dark bedroom. Daryl, the other Dixon, was pissed, but he kinda got over it. After walkers attacked the camp that the survivors were living in, Rick decided that we should move the survivors to the CDC. It turned out to be a good idea. Food, beds, warm showers, booze. Shane threw a hissy fit, but he's always been bitchy.

_Knock knock_

The sharp knocks jerked me back into reality. I yanked the big t-shirt that T-Dog let me borrow down over my thighs and staggered over to the door. The little wine I drank was rushing to my head. Usually I was a lightweight, so I took a few sips from my bottle and gave the rest to an eagerly awaiting Daryl. Before opening the door, I went through my little ritual of running my fingers through my hair and shaking it out. Hey, even during a zombie apocalypse appearance was everything.

"Fee?" a soft voice called from the other side of the door. Instantly recognizing the gruff tone, I practically tore the door off of its hinges to get to the being that awaited me.

"Rick, you ok?" I asked as he glided past me to the interior of the room. I clicked the door closed and turned to see him seated on my fold out couch. The neck of the wine bottle in his hand reflected the dull lighting in the room.

"I don't get it, Fiona." His voice shook as he lifted the spout to his lips and taking a deep gulp. "She didn't wait for me? Shane knew I was alive and he still betrayed me?" He rubbed his eyes and leaned his arm on his knee. Sadness rang through his voice. My heart broke as memories flooded my mind.

* * *

I was practicing not making noise as I walked through the leaves and twigs in the woods that surrounded the little survivor's camp. Weird, huh? But when you're this bored, you'll do anything to pass the time. Rick was off with some of the other men trying to find Merle and the bag of guns that he dropped when the horse went down in Atlanta, so it was either this or go with the other women to gossip and do laundry with Ed the sexist as the guard. I angled my feet to avoid the larger branches and leaf piles.

"_Oh,_ Shane…" A muffled moan bounced off of the trees and molested my ear drums. I froze in my tracks. Was that Lori? The noise came again and then I was sure that Lori was srewing Shane Walsh. It's amazing how many emotions a person can feel at once. Anger, sadness, embarrassment, anger. I started to back up and retreat to camp when I stumbled over a branch that stuck up out of the ground. If that wasn't bad enough, the damn thing broke as I fell backward, sending a nice, hearty _crack _reverberating off the walls off the forest. There was a rustling of leaves then a few zips while I stood up and turned.

"How's it going, Fi fi?" Shane ran up behind me and smiled. I glanced over at him and quickened my pace.

"Pretty good. How about you, Judas?" I grunted. His hand snaked its' up my arm and gripped it tightly. He yanked me forcefully to face him.

"Don't do something stupid, Fiona. You really want this to be dragged out in front of Carl?" Shane's eye darkened as he looked down at me. I narrowed mine as I tried to push him away from me.

"This is wrong. Rick is a good man. You're his best friend!" My voice rose a little bit with every sentence. Luckily his other hand was free to clench itself over my mouth. Tears pricked at my eyes.

"Fiona, you have no idea what you're getting yourself into." His voice turned into a growl as he threatened me. My hands beat against his chest as I screamed into his hand. "Stop it." The hand around my arm moved to the back of my head and assisted in shaking me. "Stop. As long as we keep things to ourselves, no one gets hurt. Understand?" I stood there for a moment, collecting the many thoughts that were racing through my brain. I finally nodded and stumbled backward as he pushed me away from him.

Of course Rick found out anyway. He's not an idiot.

* * *

I crossed to room and sat next to him. This man next to me that once saved me from life and death situations on more than one occasion was now broken. My hand flew to the neck of the bottle as he continued to drink. "Stop, Rick." With a sigh, he sat the bottle down forcefully and returned to his original position of leaning his arms on his knees. Nothing in the world could have prepared me for this. His shattered spirit was practically lying on the floor in pieces. "Rick…" I whispered as I moved my hand in a circular motion on his back. "It's not your fault."

I felt him scoff underneath my hand. "You know what? We fought all the time before this whole end of the world thing. Maybe I did something to put this whole thing in motion. Maybe I asked for this somehow." Not wanting to hear any more, I lifted his face up.

"Rick Grimes, you are probably the most honorable man I know… have ever known, even." My thumb grazed his cheek as my eyes locked with his. "It's not your fault." His eyes searched my face for what felt like forever. A blush crawled over my cheeks as he glanced from my eyes to my lips. I bit my bottom lip nervously. He leaned his face close to mine, so close I could feel his hot breath tickle my lips. Something wasn't right about what we were doing, but for the life of me, I couldn't remember what it was. "Rick…" my whisper was barely audible was he crashed into me. The taste of his tongue, the wine, and pure passion mixed together in my mouth. That taste could never be recreated. If I could bottle that taste, I'd name it brain explosion. His scruffy chin scratched against my cheek, leaving behind a trail of slight burning sensation.

"Fee." He grunted as he pushed me down to a horizontal position on the couch. His eager hands raised my shirt around my waist, delivering a warm shock to my nervous system with every inch of my body they conquered. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this." He breathed as he trailed kissed down my neck. My fingers gripped his hair as he bit at the sensitive area between my neck and my shoulder. With every nibble, I found it harder and harder to catch my breath.

"Rick." I gasped as he tugged at my shirt. Our hands fumbled in a flurry of clothes. In his zeal, Rick kicked over the bottle of wine with his foot, scattering the glass on the floor. He cursed and considered it for only a second before returning to me. Our bodies connected like puzzle pieces. I moaned his name as we made love. He showed his appreciation by picking up his pace and grunting my name into my neck as he continued to bite. The room heated up as we moved together in perfect rhythm. The only sounds were the soft creak of the couch and the loud panting of lover's names. My world melted into colors as I came. I could only scream Rick's name as the climax took my body and mind over. Completeness washed over me and he filled me moments later. Panting for air, Rick collapsed onto me, his head nuzzled into my breasts like a child seeking protection. When I regained muscle control, I moved my hand to his hair running my fingers through it. His breathing evened out after a while, matching mine. His hands were settled at my waist, thumbs stroking my sides.

"Fiona." His voice was steady and rough, "I love you." My chest felt like it would burst with joy if he said one more word. Tears clouded my vision and fell freely down my cheeks. My free hand flew up to my face and caught the salty tears before they fell from my chin. Feeling my breath hitch in my chest, Rick lifted his head in and moved his hand to my cheek. "Fiona?" I smiled down at him and cupped his face. My lips met his as I realized that he was what I was living for, even before the dead walked the earth. His love was truly something to live for. My dry throat cracked my voice as I searched for the words that could express the emotion that coursed through my veins.

"I… I love you too." The troubles of tomorrow seemed so far away as Rick and I lay in each other's arms, pulling one another closer as the sweat we generated dried to our bodies and the room cooled down. Right now no one was getting upset, no one was dying, no one was fighting for their life. This night was perfect. I stayed awake while Rick fell asleep in my arms. Nothing felt more right and more wrong at the same time. I shook the thoughts loose from my head. Tomorrow would worry about tomorrow. Tonight was for us. Tonight was for healing. Tonight was for love and I was going to soak up every minute of it.

* * *

**Review and let me know how I did. I'm rather curious.**


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